Wednesday, March 16, 2005

Again, with Emphasis

OK, must the Royals continue the humiliation of Chris George? Can't they SPARE THIS MAN'S HONOR? Ok, OK, we get it. Chris George is not a major league baseball pitcher. We did not need to witness his public flogging yesterday to add anything useful to the Collective Wisdom of Chris George:

.1 IP, 6H, 6R, 6ER, 2BB, 0K (allowed nine consecutive runners to reach base)

Please, Allard, don't you have a conscience? Let the man drift away in peace.

Chris George's Final Career MLB Line

237.1 IP, 300H, 179R, 95BB, 99K, 1.66 WHIP

Not the stuff of dreams. Chris, I hope you can use your major league network to find yourself a good second career. Hell, you're only 25! (Can you believe Chris George is 25?) You can finish your MBA in 2 years and start earning six figures with a consultancy in Lower Manhattan. Welcome to the real world, Chris. Its very, very cold.

George's putridity (!) came on the heels of a fantastic performance by the underrated and under-the-radar Mike Wood, who pitched 3 dominant innings and finished with a flourish by striking out the last 4 batters he faced. For some reason, Mike Wood is kinda forgettable; he just never registers on my radar. Mike Wood is the kind of guy who gets wasted at a huge party, vomits all over himself in front of 200 people, slurs 27 unmentionable expletives to complete strangers and stumbles out of the room - unnoticed. 10 minutes later someone says "Was Mike Wood here?" But those days are over, Mike - I see you now.

Anyway, Wood and Snyder seem to be the last men standing for the position of Long Man, since its becoming increasingly apparent you can't spell Tankersley without "Tank". I predicted Snyder would take the Long Man job a few days ago, but Wood has me rethinking that. Plus, Snyder is still rehabbing, and AAA may be a better fit for now.

Mike Wood - welcome to Long Man. Jeremy Affeldt, you're flirting with another stint on the DL.

Projected Opening Day Pitching Roster, as of March 16:

Brian Anderson, SP
Denny Bautista, SP
Zack Greinke, SP
Runelvys Hernandez, SP
Jose Lima, SP
Jeremy Affeldt, RP
Jaime Cerda, RP
Andy Sisco, RP
Nate Field, RP
Shawn Camp, RP
Mike Wood, RP

Scott Sullivan, RP

Pitching His Way Into a Job
Denny Bautista
Mike Wood

Pitching His Way Out of a Job
Dennis Tankersley
Chris George (ok, he never had a job. Accenture is hiring, Chris!)
Jose Lima (if contracts weren't guaranteed, I guarantee I wouldn't keep him on my opening day roster)

Numbers Game
Mike MacDougal
Kyle Snyder

If the Royals For Some Nonsense Reason Keep 12 Pitchers
Mike MacDougal


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